The quandry

Instead of writing the same idea in my blog (and not as eloquent), to follow is an exerpt from a friend's blog that I related to. This is what has been on my mind lately too:

"The modern LDS single woman faces quite a quandry, which can at times seem to divide her in half. On one hand, she is passionate and intelligent and productive in pursuing goals that require substantial investments of the heart, mind, and wallet. But on the other hand, she also knows that these pursuits are less important than her goal of eternal marriage, and sensing this will come along at some point (not knowing when, how, or with whom), she also senses that at any point she will be required to give up all that she has worked for and exchange it for a higher calling. Some women do not have a problem doing this, as their dream since infancy has been to wear a wedding band and nurture children and marry young. For other women of the church, it feels like a greater sacrifice when somebody comes along to interrupt and change their course. I feel like perhaps I am a little of both. Men of the church do not suffer this dynamic, nor do they fully appreciate it- I am certain, because they do not, and are not asked or required to prepare simotaniously for two completely different roles in life. In fact, they only have one role, and sadly, some of them have trouble applying themselves to responsibly fill just the one. My best friends are accomplished women who have been blessed by their education and professional pursuits, but have also had the opportunity to marry in the temple and work towards fulfilling their higher calling of motherhood in an eternal marriage. Because they are choosing to be stay at home moms and supportive wives, they are blessed." -Em

I have a son, am a college graduate, have a job that I like but doesn't have much growth opportunity, and I have no idea what my future is going to look like. My future really depends on who else is in it, but I can't wait around for that situation to change. I'm at a stand-still and I am unsure of which way to turn. I want a house, but my current job won't provide that... I also don't want to give up the supportive living situation I am in for the sake of my son. I'm torn.