Okay, I know I haven't blogged and barely get on blogspot every-other week to read, but... okay no excuse. Sorry.
Back to what's on my mind...
So far January has been a month of lists: budgets, to-dos, plans for YW at church, goals and possible interests. Yes I said POSSIBLE because I'm not sure if I have any interests, or not interests on their own, as in THINGS that I am interested in because I enjoy them. Lemme explain... I have things that I like to do: cooking, baking, board games, taking walks, playing volleyball, boating, going to the movies, going out to eat, sight seeing, etc. But really I like these things because they all involve PEOPLE, doing these things with them or for them. None of these are because I like the task of doing it.
So that's all fine and dandy as long as I have people I care about to do them with or for. But that isn't always the case. I have friends. Many friends actually. But that doesn't always work out. I have a son, but not every-other-weekend. My siblings actually have lives outside of mine. I have my parents... um that doesn't count (see side note #1 at bottom).
So I've been trying to be fine alone. Trying to feel full, at peace, engaged while by myself. Because after all, there are no guarantees that I will ever "have" someone else (see side note #2 at bottom). It's difficult to feel all that when I'm not really interested in anything. So how do I solve this... I guess by trying new things. I just don't know where to start. I have a list but would welcome suggestions.
What have you done to cultivate interests?
Side note #1: I made dinner tonight (for myself and made more than enough to share with my parents); Cobb Salad. Yummo!!! It was so good (if I do say so myself); however, the only things my dad uttered as he shoveled it down his gullet is that he didn't like how the lettuce was cut, and inquired about what dressings are usually served on a Cobb (And it was all done in a way to imply that I had done it wrong). I do NOT like to cook for ungrateful condescending people... It takes the joy out of it.
Side note #2: I do believe that I will "have" someone someday. I'm great. I have hope. But I can't wait around until "it" happens and really there aren't any guarantees. I just want to be happy either way. That's where this whole train of thought was coming from.
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Very interesting your choice of words...you want peace? I wish you were here for a women's event at church yesterday. Our women's ministry leader and our pastor's wife both talked about PEACE. Did you know that you can find the word peace 420 times in the King James Version of the Bible, starting in Genesis and ending in Revelation? You are not going to find peace by anything of this world...you can only find peace in the PRINCE OF PEACE (Isaiah 9:6). So I know what you are getting at, you want to find joy and contentment in an activity that doesn't have to include someone else. I just thought it was so interesting the timing of your post and the message that I heard yesterday. I love you and miss you! Hope you have a great day.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to take a look at some of those verses, I pulled them up for you...all 420 of them. Whew I am tired ;-)
http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=peace&version1=9&searchtype=all&limit=none&wholewordsonly=no
I want to know what you have on your list already. I'm looking for some good ideas myself. ;) Then I can see what you're thinking and possibly give you some new thoughts.
ReplyDelete((((HUGS))))
ReplyDeleteI hate cooking for ungrateful people as well!
Hmmm...interests...reading (I LOVE a good book!), quilting (but there are only so many quilts that a house in CA can use, so I'm slowing down on that one), knitting (again, only so many blankets and scarves one can use in CA), and I LOVE digital scrapbooking and memory preservation (I'm currently scanning all the pictures of my childhood, Sean's childhood, and both sets of our parents' childhoods so I can put them into albums).
ReplyDeleteAs far as the peace thing goes, I totally understand. I want to move so bad, and I'm trying to find my own peace in the situation we're in. We can be unpeaceful together at a girls' night out one day. :)
Jessie - sounds like a great conference. Thanks for the link. I feel peace in my heart but not in my mind or body. I want to DO something, I'm just not sure what yet.
ReplyDeleteSandra - My list (some just made it there, but I'm not that excited about them): jewelry making, baking, cooking, scriptures, church history, literature, needlepoint, travel, exercise/healthy living, going back to school, Theatre, music, reading, drafting floor plans, knitting... That's all so far.
I think I need to incorporate music into my life more.
wow i had no idea that you only enjoyed these things because of the people interaction and not because they brought you excitement or happiness on their own. that's a bummer :( we are going to have to find you a fun hobby that you enjoy :) i would just go insane if there wasn't anything i could think of that i enjoyed to do....but then a ball yarn could entertain me and i get excited really easily over anything like last night i was soooo excited for your dad's birthday surprise thing i was driving eric nuts cuz i kept on talking about it...anyways i will try and think of things that could be fun for you to do ok here is an idea today i went outside and jumped in the rain puddles....childish yes, but it made me laugh and smile, i know you can't exactly make a hobby out of rain puddle jumping, but maybe there are little things you could do during the day that make life a little more enjoyable... hope this helps or at least makes you laugh if you think it is ridiculous :)
ReplyDeleteWell, if you are a true "people person" maybe you could find something that interests/fulfills you personally that you can still do while interacting with others. Maybe volunteer work that includes your interest? Reading to children, tutoring, literacy for adults? Just some ideas. I don't know if that defeats the purpose of your search or not.
ReplyDeleteI like to read, write and paint. All solitary activities that make me happy.
What about blogging? You like posting, I like reading!
ReplyDeleteOK, it's time for a new post. You totally skipped February! Love you :)
ReplyDeleteI was just checking everyone else's blogs and was thinking the same thing... Maybe I'll do something now.
ReplyDelete